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The Dr Joy Show
The Dr Joy Show
Dr Joy Show with Kim Melia
Kim Melia is a brilliant entrepreneur and generous philanthropist. She works in leadership with Legalshield and is a co-founder of Work, Play, Love, a non profit that supports an orphanage in Guatemala. Her wisdom and experience is shared openly in this episode. Enjoy!
@drjoyshow
thedrjoyshow@gmail.com
Hello and welcome to this episode of the Dr. Joy Show. I'm so happy today to be here with my beautiful friend, Kim Melia. Gosh, Kim, we've been friends for 25 years and have been all over the world together, particularly in the Caribbean and had so many good times professionally and personally. And I'm so grateful that you'd be having this conversation with us. So welcome.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Thank you. Well, of course, I love you to death and I love your husband and we know each other a lot through business, but mainly with you, it's always pleasure because you come on these amazing trips, like you said to the Caribbean. But I'm always grateful because, um, first of all, I love chiropractic health. I know this isn't a chiropractic necessarily just podcast, but you've always helped me feel more joyful by helping me through my pain of whatever my. Airline flight, my bad pillow. I might've fell out in or out of the pool. Gosh knows. Right. I'm just happy to be here and I'm certain congratulations to you on your podcast. This is really, really awesome. I love the concept of it. I love the joyfulness of it. And it's just great.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Thank you so much. And honestly, it's funny because when I think of you, I do remember The stage at the dance party, the chaise lounge at the pool, the wall at another pool, the floor in the hall. There's so many places where we've met from the chiropractic perspective, but also just the yoga on the beach. Those are some of my favorite memories. So give us a little bit more about your background, where you're from. and how you've gotten to where you are today.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:sure. Well, I call myself a rebel with a cause. Now a Canadian with a rebel with a cause. I used to be a rebel with no cause. I am from Canada. I grew up there till was 29 moved to the States, specifically San Diego for about 17 years. I did go to Wilmington for a few years, North Carolina. And then six years ago I moved to Lake Chapala, Mexico. So if you really want to say who is Kim, well, I guess you could say, label it like she's actually a true North American. I started to become an entrepreneur early in my early twenties when I was 23 years old. I thought it was really cool to get out of high school and get a job. And then I worked in corporate. I was like, uh, no, this isn't cool. Can I be an entrepreneur? Can I do something on my own? So I've been an entrepreneur for, like I said, 25 years and then also run a nonprofit as a passion and a purpose in my life. So that's kind of a little bit about who I am.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:I know a lot of where you've been is wrapped up in this question, but how do you personally define joy?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Well, I personally define joy by something that makes your heart beat faster or something that makes you smile from the inside out. It's probably the best way I would explain joy because I think joy really is something from the inside now You may see it on somebody's face, but it's usually comes from right here from their heart
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:That's awesome. Can you think back to an early childhood memory that was joyful?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:You know what? I do have many fun joyful moments I think as a child, but like the first snowfall I know I don't even like snow. So as a child though, mean, but still like the first snowfall and the beautiful, like now as an adult, I can even appreciate it a little bit different, but Christmas music, Christmas lights, I'm kind of in that mode, I know it's not even close to Christmas, but those things just like when I was small made me joyful. Right. Wearing a sweater during the fall. I remember one of my most joyful moments in like, I don't know why I remember this. There's probably times in your life too, that you're like, why do I remember this memory? I remember walking to school with my brothers and it was fall and we had to go through all the leaves and we had to crunch on them and they were just all different colors. And it was, the wind was blowing and it was beautiful. Beautiful and it was warm, but it was kind of chilly at the same time. And just stuff like that, I guess nature, I mean, I'm talking about sunset sunrises. These things bring me joy. They just do, of course, birthday presents and Christmas presents, those types of things. But those are like. joyful things that only happen for a second. Those are some of my favorite things I can remember.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:What's a recent joyful memory that you have?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:A recent one. Well, that was a big one. That was a 10 year anniversary of our girls orphanage in Guatemala that we opened up 10 years ago. So that would be my most recent joyful, joyful, time just to see, you know, we've had over 300 girls come through the orphanage. To see some of the girls that have been there the entire time, 10 years that we've been open. So I've known them since they were two and now they're 12 or 14 and so that's kind of cool. So that was really fun to see.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:That's amazing. One of my favorite pictures or videos from that trip that I got to witness Was you in the princess gown leading the parade of girls all in their princess crowns and tiaras and oh my gosh, it was just such a beautiful expression. And then all the little boys dressed up in their suits with their ties and I mean, little men and women that are going to be changing the world because of how you've impacted them.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:yeah, it was pretty cool. So the girls, you know, it's our, it's a princess palace. It's the first orphanage princess palace, I believe in the whole world. And so the girls, We'll dress up a couple of times a year as princesses, of course, because we want them to feel special. And I happen to be at a fundraiser here in Mexico. My very first fundraiser I went to, and it was a fashion show and it was for Christmas. And this lady comes walking out with this adult princess dress, the first dress mom and I literally were like, where, how I have to have it. And it fit me. Perfect. So, I mean, you know, there, there are no coincidences. I'm not a princess really, but I'll play a princess every now and then. So that really was special.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:So I'm curious. Since you've had such an impact as a leader, as an entrepreneur, are there any of those kinds of strategies or slogans that you're able to bring into the orphanage that you're teaching these kids so that they also increase their level of confidence?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Yeah. You know, we've done affirmations and we put them in Spanish and we put them like right by their mirror, where maybe some of them are doing their makeup or they're brushing their teeth, you know, something like that. Sometimes beside their beds. That would probably be the biggest thing that I would say that we do for them. Of course we read. We do other things. When I ask them how they are, I try to get them to say more than just, okay, you know, like how come you're not better. But I think affirmations are the biggest thing. They're not really taught that they don't really know self help that much. Yeah. You know, so I think self help self care, we do lots of fun things with them to like facials and stuff. That's not really business wise, but we really just try to instill in them that they're worthy. And the best way that we can do that for me is to show up all the time. So I show up every three months for the last 10 years to be with them. And I bring groups and we bring other people with us and we try to bring the repeat people because people who come once is a great thing. But if they can come 2 or 3 times and these kids and they're still there, they really feel like, oh, wow. And we bring them pictures of themselves. They don't have photo albums. They don't remember what they look like when they were 3 and now they're 13. We've done meditation. I do yoga. So I teach yoga to them and I try to teach breathing. I try to do some meditation with them and stuff like that. So I say that those were some of the stuff, but affirmations are probably the biggest thing.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:I really appreciate the fact that affirmations transcend language because I think sometimes we get caught up in my words and what it means to me, but then to be able to say, Here's the same tone that can be shared with somebody else and really express. And I also love that whenever I see pictures of you at the orphanage and with these kids, you're so generous with your hugs and sitting next to them so they're able to touch you. I think a lot of people think of orphanages and the relationship with children as being so, you know, hands off taboo. And yet that's one of the things that they need the most is that ability to be able to connect with somebody who they love, who they've come to love and to be able to feel like there is a connection there. 1000%.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:I mean, our organization's called Work, Play, Love. Kind of off of Eat, Pray, Love. Right. But work a little, play a lot and love it even more. Yeah. So our organization, that's what I want people to know. They're like, well, what are we going to build? Or what are we going to paint? Or what are we going to do? You know, and it's not like we don't, we could sit down and do homework with them. We could sit down and just play a game with them. We could love them and sit down when they're sick and they don't have a mom to hug. You know, and they could be snotty all over you and if you don't want it, but you know what I mean? Little things like that. So, and you know, there tends to be favorites just because you've known somebody for 10 years or you have more of a connection. But one of the things I really try not to do is to do that, even though some of them are going to be hooked on my hips or on your hips when you come. What I try to do is make sure that even if somebody else is coming over that I give them a hug or make them feel just as important because listen, they're abandoned or abused, everything that you can imagine has happened to these children. So for them just to know that they can hold your hand. It means the world to them. Just little things like you're talking about, that I remember as a child, my mom, being beside me when I was sick, rubbing my head, taking me for a bath. It doesn't happen at the orphanage unless there's extra help. It just doesn't. And so those little things mean so much. Them doing your hair. Rather than you doing their hair, them painting your nails, you know, you doing facials with them, making a cake with them or eating the cake that they made from school and sitting down with them at dinner, all those little things that we probably don't pay attention to. And maybe, maybe some of you do, but if you don't pay attention, but it means so much to the kids. And I would say that the probably the most joyful time in my life is when I'm at the orphanage. And it's so weird because I don't have kids. I never wanted kids. And I know that sounds weird. I don't mean to be rude, but I've never been that woman that said, I can't wait to bear them and have them and hold them and do this. And maybe it's because of my past, right? Maybe I've gone through a lot in my past. But that doesn't mean I don't love. This doesn't mean I don't want to give that love. And so when I landed in Guatemala, I knew that I was at home. I literally had The hair stood up on my arms. And I was in a third world country, not knowing there was only boys at the orphanage at the time. I was like, what do I have in common with boys? Well, I mean, here it is 15 years later. And. it's family, right? It's family. So I think if you just follow your heart it'll lead you to places that you don't even really expect or know, and maybe so uncomfortable that you're like, I don't even know why I'm here. if you just go with the flow and let go and kind of let that energy go, then you're going to find your flow.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:You know, you just pointed to something really important, I think, in that when we are truly in service to humanity, to other people, it's not about us. It's about them. And you just shed any of the preconceived notions that you have about what you're supposed to be doing. And you're asking the right questions and you have asked the right questions, like, what do you need? How can we help you here? And not putting your own agenda on this place, but actually asking. Wasn't the first thing you did was to get them a van for transportation to school?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Yep.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:And that came out of the conversation of, what do you need?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Yeah. Listen, there's a lot of things I think they need and that I could do better and we could do, we could have, and we could spend more time, you know, cleaning this room and getting this one ready and doing a sale and blah, blah, blah, blah. But then you look at all the kids and it's like, well, they, we need to hang out with them or, or this room, like, what does it really matter? What matters to them is different. What matters to us. And when you're really, like you just said, you said it perfectly when you're of service to other people, you do what brings them joy and what they need to get to bring them joy. And, it's sometimes hard because as a leader. You can see things that you have a solution for, but it's also a different country and a different culture. And when you start to respect that, then you start to open up your mind to maybe a different way of thinking. You would think that the orphanage, you should be adopt everybody out. Well, when I got there 15 years ago, adoption stopped because of human trafficking. So now there's like over 50 to a hundred and more orphanages in Guatemala. Is that a good thing? No, but at least it's somewhere that the kids can go. And then people say, well, we want them to adopt them out of the orphanage. And then the owner would say to me, we'll actually want to change their legacy. And the only way to change your legacy is to keep them here and get them educated and teach them one by one. And, you know, and it seems like a long thing, but listen, if you can change one kid, you can change the next and you could possibly change more and you could change the community. So I think it's a beautiful thing. At first, I thought, oh, gosh, no, these kids all need to get adopted. And some of them do if they're from Guatemala. But the reality is, I think, the more that we can do to keep them, make them healthy, make them feel loved and safe, educate them. And then they can go off and they can spread their wings.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:I know the group that you just had there for the 10th anniversary made a huge contribution for Hope Academy. And then the technical school that's being built. Can you talk a little bit about what that is? Yeah.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:So we have hope Academy, which is a girl's school. So girls in Guatemala normally don't get educated very well. I mean, I'm being broad. So, another nonprofit opened up Hope Academy and we helped to support that and we got some different social support. Worker for them. We've got some teachers, we've got some classrooms, but now we need the trade school and the trade school is right beside the orphanage. And the trade school is of course, some girls come or boys come and, by the time they have to leave the orphanage, they don't even have a grade nine education because they came to us late. They got educated late. So they need to trade. It doesn't mean they can't continue their education, but they have to age out of the orphanage. At some point they need to trade. So we have a trade school that we're helping build with some other nonprofits and local community to have motorcycle repair, air conditioning repair, refrigerator repair, maybe some baking, some English classes, some computer classes, some beauty school, you name it. So this is what's going on, and we're in the midst of it right now. Some of it's 1 buildings built. There's probably 3 other buildings that need to get buiilt, but we feel like we'll get it done within the next probably nine months to 12 months. And these kids and the community. So the adults in the community can actually get a trade. They don't have to go to Guatemala city. That's hours of transportation and money that they don't have. They won't even have to pay to come to our classes. These are going to be free for the community, free for our children. It's really going to be amazing because it's like a one stop shop. You got your orphanage, right? You've got your trade school, you've got the other school. So it's really something that they. Can always come back to too. So it's a really beautiful thing.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Well, and when you talk about changing someone's legacy, that doesn't just impact one generation. That's going to affect generations to come. So going back to something that you started to say about a time in your life when it was hard. Can you point to a time when joy seemed distant, and how did you get back from that?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:There's a couple, but I won't get into too many. But I would say the one that probably I can remember where I came back from it probably better than most. I had a suicide in our family and it was actually my mom's boyfriend at the time. I was living with them and he committed suicide. I found him. It was devastating. I was 21 years old. And I actually was volunteering for the suicide awareness hotline. So I went through suicide awareness training. I was on the hotline like three days a week. I'd go from my job and I go and, answer people who wanted to kill themselves. I knew about suicide. I understood about it. It wasn't a professional, but I was on the phones. Right. So when I got home and found me, he had committed suicide everything changed. I couldn't even open the garage door. I couldn't do the things that I would tell people to do. Right. I couldn't do any of those it changed my life. It was, um, It was really hard to find joy. I am a very, outspoken, fun, energetic, outgoing. That's what people know me as. And I couldn't go out. was, I couldn't go home. First of all, to the place that I found him, I couldn't go out. I couldn't do my sports events or anything, but I did go to counseling. And so I wouldn't say I found joy in counseling. But joy came out of it because I got to go through a year of intense counseling, which helped me get through my experiences as well with my biological father and different things that happened to me and brought up a lot of different stuff. So I guess what I could say is, to people, when you are in an unjoyful state, There are resources for you. There are people, there are different things that can help you get out of it, but it was me, right? If I didn't go for the counseling, if I didn't do those things, I wouldn't have been able to find that joy again and going out and being able to talk about it without crying and hearing a siren without thinking about it, different things like that. So, it took some time, but it changed my life. And I wouldn't say I would want this on anybody, but. I'm grateful that it happened now because I went through so much to understand who I am.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Well, and the leader that you've become too. I mean, I know that just a couple of short years after that happened, one of your early entrepreneurial ventures was in motivation, personal development. And so how do you feel like that has created a construct for how you've become as a leader?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Yeah. thank goodness for personal development, spiritual development, however you want to call it. I just dove into it. So being an entrepreneur, you've got to have discipline and you've got to motivate yourself and inspiration. And I remember reading"The Magic of Believing". I wouldn't say it's my favorite book, but it was my first book that I read full. I don't know about you, but in high school, I was the student that got away with not reading anything. I shouldn't say that anything I read a little bit and did my book reports, not proud of it, but the first time I ever read a full book was The Magic of Believing" by Claude Bristol. And it was like way back. It's an old book. And so some of those and they were kind of wacky. But I was like, well, if it works for this book and somebody and whoever wrote it, it might work for me. And it was like looking at yourself in the mirror in the eyes and affirming that you are worthy. Kind of what I'm doing with the kids at the orphanage and you can do this and you're a motivational speaker and Kim, you're amazing. But you had to look deep in your eyes in the mirror, which is a really interesting exercise if you've never done it. I recommend it, but it is a little uncomfortable at first because you're talking to you. I mean, you're talking to your soul. That's what it felt like to me, but it really helped me believe in myself. Everybody else might've said, Oh Kim, you're good. But until you really Somehow believe in a little part of yourself, then you can start to believe in more, right? And so I, that was my first book and that was my introduction really to personal development. And then I got into listening to it and watching it. I didn't have YouTube back then. But I was with a company that brought satellite personal development from a satellite channel into my home. And so I was obsessed. I mean, literally Dr. Laura, I was obsessed. I would listen to it. While I was taking a shower, I would listen to what I was putting on my makeup. If I wasn't on the phone or talking to somebody, I was listening to personal development because then I needed it. I didn't have a horrible upbringing. That's not what I want to say, but I just didn't have the right philosophies. I wasn't thinking properly. one of the things that I remember when I was little, If you want to talk about something that brought me joy or just brought joy into my life to understand it was I was at a family reunion and an uncle came to me, uncle bill, and we were in California and it was like Hawaiian theme and we're all dressed in like Hawaiian, got our lays on and my uncle bill came up to me. He's like, how are you today, Kim? And I was like, I'm okay. He's like, okay, what do you mean? Fantastic. Fabulous. Like what's going to take you from an okay to this. And I remember just being like, there's people like that. Like you can just be happy. You can just you have a choice is my point here. I didn't really know that. I didn't really feel that I didn't feel that from my friends or some of my family or my teachers. Everything was just, it's okay. It's okay. And so I remember that. And so when I got into personal development, I just remember, man, he must have been into personal development or something, because for him to be. You know, trying to explain this to like an eight year old kid, that's pretty cool. And for me to, and the impact is still today on it and remember that. I just truly believe that it's a choice, you know, joyfulness is a choice. Happiness is a choice.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:100 percent agree. And when the satellite was on back in the nineties, Mike and I, we used to have that on constantly and we would just listen to it like background noise. So anytime we would walk into the room, We would catch a nugget that somebody was talking about in terms of leadership or best foot forward or how to participate or being in community. There were so many ways that it really resonated with us too. And so I think that's part of the time when you guys joined with LegalShield that we really connected because we already had a basis for understanding where you all were coming from. And that was also part of our core values as well. Good times, man. Good times. Thanks.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Very cool.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:So now there's two sides of your leadership. One is being in the front of the room, being one of the core leaders, but there's also the part of learning from other leaders and, and having people that mentor you. So what are some of the distinctions that are important to you? Whether it's a dialogue that you think is important for people to share in the framework of leadership, positivity moving forward. And how do you. Make that play in yourself
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:If you're talking about like a quote or something like that, if it's to be, it's up to me. And that's one of the things that, and I don't mean that means you do everything. Cause that's not what I mean. Cause I think, you know, teamwork and all that, but if it's really, truly up to you, like you really, truly want something, you really, truly desire this, or, you know, um, want to be a joyful person or want to change something or have a different character. Characteristic or philosophies in life, if it's to be, it's up to me. It was a really good one. My other philosophy that I adapted and that I teach or that I got from another leader, these are Jim Rohn and Brian Tracy's and of the world, is the Slight Edge philosophy. The Slight Edge philosophy says it's the little things that you do day in and day out that seem to make no difference, but the compounded effect. And over time, it will either lead to your success your failure. And when I heard that 25 ago. It went ding. Literally it was like, you can switch, you can just snap your fingers and switch to whatever, like exercise. I don't exercise. Okay. Or I don't exercise enough. You know, then, okay, I'm on the slight edge the wrong way. And I know that if I keep on doing this day in and day out and never doing it, I'm probably going to end up having a heart attack or a stroke or I'm being a little bit, you know, but something's going to go on usually. And the person who does exercise and exercise could be just 30 minutes of a nice walk in the park. You guys, it could be just a 15 minute walk here and a 15 minute walk there. It doesn't have to all be at the same time either. It's just getting out and enjoying nature and being present. That's the signage in the right way. Even though you're uncomfortable, it might be so hot outside lately. You know, America has been burning up. So I think all over the world is burning up or it's cold and then you don't want to do it. Maybe it's the same, like, let's just talk about eating. It's the same way in the slight edge. I eat a salad every single day or I eat well every day. My fruit, my fruits and vegetables, carbs and protein, everything I can. And then my partner eats McDonald's and Subway and Chick fil A and he barely has his vegetables and stuff. It's easy and convenient for him. Because convenient means that's why they call them convenience stores, right? Fast food is now I want it now. But for me, here I am having an apple and it takes me longer to eat an apple than it does a hamburger. It might be longer for me to go down the fruit stand and get it or, or whatever. Maybe I don't even feel like eating it, but it's going to lead me to hopefully not having those heart attacks or being sick or whatever. So soon as I heard the philosophy, it was something that I adapted immediately. Whether it's reading, exercising, physical fitness, or like I said, or your spirituality or whether it's, your relationships, it's your work. I mean, this goes into every aspect of your life. You're either in the slight edge going in the right way right now. Or you're going in the slight edge the wrong way and the good news is you can fix it. And so the first thing I fixed was my business. How was I treating myself and my business? And I doing the things necessary in the slight edge to do that? Once I started going in the slight edge and feeling pretty good and getting into momentum, then I started to adapt with my healthy stuff. So how I exercise, then it went into my food, then it went into my relationships and it went into my personal development and then it kept on going in from there. Perfect. And so it's not something that you can take a bite of and chew it all at once. But I believe that that is the best philosophy I've ever learned that I could teach that people understand and that sticks in their head that they could always just go back to and it's referred to as a, it's a great reference.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:so true. Oh my gosh. So I, the thing that keeps coming to my mind is consistency is key. And like you say, if you're consistently going in the right direction versus consistently going in the wrong direction, it's also consistently spending time with people that are lifting you up or tearing you down. I mean, so much of who we are is who we spend our time with. So to that end, there's so many incredible leaders that you get to spend time with and friends that you've made around the world. What are some of the characteristics or behaviors that you think are a common thread with people that are joyful?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Well, I've also been very blessed to be around so many cool people. From my business to my nonprofit and whatnot. So I would say some of the characteristics are a giving gratitude, giving mentality, it doesn't have to be like you're a philanthropist and you do everything for everybody, but just that kind of giving heart. So, I start my day every day with a gratitude practice. And I've been doing that for, I don't know I've been doing with Sharla for 15 years and then I just add a girlfriend. If I notice that we need to connect on that level, or she needs to have a little bit of that, or, you know, I want to share mine with them. So I do it with 3 girlfriends now every single morning. So the 1st time when I do pick up the phone, which I don't pick up the phone right away in the morning, which is also something I don't think. Successful characteristics of somebody who is like that you just don't do that. First thing. I think people who take care of themselves, their self care, they really do take time to journal, meditate, take walks, whatever, do a facial. I've been into my own homemade facials lately and masks, but really those are some. And then I would say, My favorite, which is still something I think we all work on is letting shit go. Am I allowed to say that? I'm sorry. Letting it
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Yep.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:It is interesting and challenging as Jim Rohn would say, fascinating. just hold on to this stuff and the more that we can let go, everything like let it go and let it flow. Right? Or I would say, care less and love more. Now people might say, well, that means you don't care. No, I just said, love more, care less about what people think about you, what you think of sometimes of what you're telling yourself in your head. Sometimes it's something you don't want to hear, care less about the politics. And I don't, I'm not going to get into a lot, but you know what I mean? Care less about the weather. The weather is the weather who cares? Like you can't change it. In other words, things that you can't change, care less about. You can't change the way your mom is. You can't change the way you grew up. You can't change it. You got abused or raped or anything. So care less and love more. I believe that the more easygoing, the more that we can let go and the person who's helped me with that the most is Michael Singer. Singer is an author. He has written the Untethered Soul. He has written Surrender Experiment. He now has his own podcast. He's a spiritual guru, but he's also a multi multi millionaire. you wouldn't even think it. He lives in Oregon, I believe. I don't know if you've been to him, but he's got his temple there. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I always think of you guys. He's just amazing. I got into him actually a few years ago. Well, I would say more than a few years ago, but I actually was delivered the book going just before I was going through a divorce and when I first looked at the Untethered Soul and started to read it, I was like, it read Like another language I could never read. I was like, what does this even mean? As I was going through my divorce, I picked it back up and I was like, man, this is exactly what I need. And it was all about letting go. And, the things that we tell ourselves, that the voice inside your head, that's really not you. It's just somebody telling you something. I know I sound a little crazy now, but there's, you know, there's somebody who's always telling, you know, don't do this. Come on, Kim. You can't do this. I mean, there are affirmations. That's different. But then when there's a voice in your head that you hear all the time, and it's like, that's not really you, I promise you, it's just you're observing the voice. And as soon as I figured out that kind of stuff, I could let stuff go more. So anyways, I know that was a long answer to that question, but those are some of the characteristics that I see. You
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:said two things that I want to pull out of there to highlight that I think are really important. One of those is just because something didn't resonate with you the first time you heard it or read it doesn't mean it's not going to resonate with you again in two months, five years, 10 years. There's a lot of information in the world. And I think that we need to continue to be open to things that are coming our way because there's a time and a place for everyone and everything. And so. Some things you're always going to push away because you never see them being part of your world. Other things. It's just not yet. Just not now. And the other thing that you said that I really wanted to highlight is that being able to control the things that happen, not to diminish the importance of somebody having been abused or raped or been in a relationship that was bad or a job that, that sucked or being in a car accident, any of those things, this happened. It's real. It's part of who you are for the rest of your life. Now, how can you take that and reframe it in a way that you can be more aware, so it doesn't happen to you, and even more importantly, so it doesn't happen to someone else you care about? And to really be able to be consistent with that is not me. It will never be. And I can use that experience as something that's going to be fuel for my fire, to be able to be even more empowered, even more in self love and even more ability to create that service oriented dialogue that we all need. You know, we're so familiar with now.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:I truly believe that. Just when you said that it was like a ding, it was like, I probably, for me, it's very healing. Well, it is for me to go and serve orphans because I understand what a lot of them have gone through. Maybe I don't understand exactly their circumstance, but I understand the feelings. I understand the abandonment, you know, just from some stuff that's happened to me. And so I believe that, if you can be more open to stuff like what you're saying, then there could be healing. even you don't even know that. that is a healing and how you relate to somebody. And for me, it was when I went to the orphanage, I was like, Oh, this feels like home. This is normal. This is, I get it. I don't like, I get the kids. Like there's no not getting them.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Yeah. So important before we move into the final fast five questions. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with our listeners?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Um, I think so. I think I did a lot. I think I said a lot. Um, no.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Well, I'm expecting you to tell me some more stories while we go through the five, like why these things came up for you. So the first question is what is a piece of music or an artist or a band that It brings you joy.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Michael Franti, he brings me joy. And I hate to relate everything to the orphanage, but it seems like we keep on going there. But I started listening to him right when I got involved in the orphanage. And this is right when Michael Franti was. Literally speaking about happiness, he exudes happiness and yes, he has some kind of statements and maybe not political, but he likes to, he likes to spread joy. He likes to spread love. I mean, that's really what he's about. And so, I would go to the orphanage and play Michael Franti at five in the morning to every group that came and I would at night, I'd make us sit down and watch pictures from the whole day and I would put them all and listen to Michael Franti. And then the kids started to play Michael Franti. Literally with their guitars and get to know their songs. And, one of the kids just came back, he's 21. Now he came to see us at the 10 year anniversary. And he said, Michael Franti speaks English now too. And he's like, I still love Michael Franti. And I'm like, so to me, you know, I, I want things that make me feel good. The other ones are like more yoga like Sanatana core. Garish, they're very calming, very loving their songs are so soothing. And I listened to them a lot in yoga, but I listened to them a lot. Now I'll tell you a funny story. Of course, I gotta tell you a story, but my fiance, who Was not into that kind of music at all. Was not into yoga, was not into meditation, was not into, I wouldn't say Buddha, but just, you know, all that kind of stuff and candles and yogi stuff. Right. He thought it was kind of weird. But now fast forward, we've been together eight years. He loves Michael Franti too. He loves Michael Singer. He actually got into all this because of Michael Singer, but I would come home sometimes now and he's got. So not on core Blair and he's got the candles going and he's meditating and he's doing all this because it makes you feel so good when you can hear the sound of an angel's voice. Like just, just close your eyes and be present. If there was a message I could leave to bring you joy is to be present. That's all we freaking have. Like we don't have anything else. It's like, we've got to be present and whatever makes you happy. One do jumping Jackson. You need to get around what, I don't know what you need to do, but music definitely can do that for me. I love music.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Well, one of my favorite places to spend time with you is on a dance floor. And every time that I hear Michael Franti, I've, I picture you and Sharla and just having this beautiful expression of wild, erratic dancing and just pure expression. And we're actually going to see Michael Franti on my birthday in a couple months. So I'm super excited. Yeah. He's amazing.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Well, let me know when it is. You never know. He might show up.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:August 16th,
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Okay.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:August 16th. You should come. I'll, I'm buying a couple extra tickets. So we have a place for you to stay. We can go to the concert. What is a book that brings you joy?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:well, I did mention Michael Singer, so of course that, but I would say, I really like Wayne Dyer. I've been listening to him a lot lately. I listen to a lot of audio books, but Wayne Dyer, went through, Lau Tzu, I can't remember the name of the book now. He, but he basically has a book on Lau Tzu and so it's really short. I like to listen to sometimes just five or seven minutes and he gives you like, okay, this is how you do, this is how you do this verse today. So I like reading little things that give you something to. Just a little assignment for that day, you know, not a big thing, but it makes a difference. Kind of like the slight edge. If you could do something a little different every day to bring you joy. Um, so I love listening to Wayne Dyer right now.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:What about a movie that brings you joy?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Well, I'm a big eighties kind of girls, nineties. So I would say like Footloose and Grease. So of course I like to dance. So anything that's got dancing and stuff but I love like true love stories. I love documentaries that are on life. That You know, whether it's about an orphanage or whatever, but like, I love those things. Comedies are great, but honestly, if I could watch something that's fun, that's dancing and fun and music and just that kind of stuff,
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:And what are some of your joy hacks? Things that you do that just hack into joy.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:music, for sure. Hugging somebody, you know, truly hugging somebody. I mean, I, I felt, I felt sometimes when I need to hug somebody, I had somebody fast and they're like, hold on to me. I'm like, ah, yeah, yeah. We need to go heart to heart and really hug somebody. What else would be a really good one? Talking to a friend, a girlfriend like you, like getting on a zoom, getting on and finally just been like, Oh my God, it's been two months or six months or a year. what are we doing? Right. Seen a friend that you haven't seen in a week or two at a bar or you're going out, like just having a drink. Just, I'm very simple when it comes right down to it. I think the simple little things make me feel joyful and we're going over to our neighbors to watch the Stanley Cup tonight. Because the Canadians have not won in 30 years. So we're going over to our neighbors to celebrate and hopefully the Canadians will win, but I haven't seen them in a couple weeks. So, I guess relationships, people,
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Very cool. Fun fact, my neighbor next door, grew up in Canada and he's coming over to watch the game with us and we're making poutine for dinner.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:even better.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:What's someone that you have an Attaway for? So an Attaway is someone that you're cheering for, that you're celebrating, or someone who's helped you along the way.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Um, I mean, I've got so many, but I'll just say, I would say. Karen and Estuardo, they're the owners of the orphanage. And so they've helped me see that there are true angels in this world and that there's true giving people that don't expect anything back and that when you give what it can really do for your soul, like these are owners of the orphanage. Karen started when she was 16 years old. And she went on a high school trip. To an orphanage, she's from Guatemala and she was required in high school to go on a field trip. And she went to an orphanage and a little boy said to her at 16 years old, as they were playing and hanging out. And he's like, of course, in Spanish, he says, are you going to be here just today? Like everybody else? Are you going to come back and be with us forever? And she was like forever. And that was it. so she started to take boys in from the street. Then she had to have find a house. And then she, so, and then she found her husband cause he was a driver and helped out at the orphanage. And so I look at them every day. I mean, They're, up at God knows what time in the morning, but they're up early. Before they get the orphanage or doing stuff for the orphanage. They're at the orphanage. They never really know what's going to go on the orphanage that day. And then they're always there. And then they don't get home till eight o'clock at night. I know Estuardo wants to turn on the TV and just be a veg head. Karen's got her list out, like other things that they're doing and marking grades and making sure the kids are going to their doctor's appointments. I look at their life and first of all, I'm blessed, I love what they do, but man, I go to the orphanage for a week and I'm exhausted after a day. They're doing it day in and day out. So when I go there, yeah, I'm exhausted, but I'm not, I am so full of joy. I'm so full of like, look at what they do. I can only do a little bit of what they do. And if I could have, if I can have their kind of, They're giving this and to know that, that it's possible to have that energy to give like that. They bring me more than joy. They brought me to a different place in my life that I didn't think I'd ever, didn't think I was really, I didn't, I wouldn't say it wasn't that nice. I didn't think I was, I had that in me. I didn't know. I really didn't.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Incredible. Well, I tell you, I cannot wait to come on one of the next trips to Guatemala. And Mike has talked so much about it and had an epic adventure with you and everyone there. So it's, it's something I think that we'll have to be doing here. I think he said two years is when you have the next big celebration. So we'll be there.
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:Awesome.
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Well, while we wrap up, is there anything else that you'd like to say to our listeners today?
squadcaster-edh3_1_06-24-2024_151412:I just want to say thank you guys for always being really cheerleaders to me. You know, you and your husband have always just been, it's to use the word joyful always. I mean, there's never a time that I don't see Mike smile on our zooms, present, willing to give his time, his expertise, his wisdom, you, your, her. care, you're dancing, just, just your hugs, your love when we see you and your support for our nonprofit. You know we've been doing this for 15 years. We celebrated 10 years of the girls organization being open, but Mike and you have been supporting it for this long and for him to finally come and you eventually to come soon. It means the world to us for that. So for everything that you guys give to everybody, but specifically I would say to me,
dr-laura-lajoie_1_06-24-2024_141412:Well, we deeply love and appreciate you and to our listeners. Thank you so much for being here. Please remember to subscribe or follow. And if you want to follow me on Instagram, it's@drjoyshow. And you can DM me. And if you have any positive people in your life that you'd like me to have a conversation with, please include their name and contact information. And just remember that as we smile on you today, that it's so important to just keep choosing joy.