Episode 3 - Valentines Episode with Mike Bishop

I hope you enjoy this special Valentines episode with my guy, Mike Bishop. We discuss how we met, family adventures, the challenges of having two businesses and three kids. It was a fun date to put this together for our joy community. 

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to the Dr. Joy Show. I'm your host, Dr. Laura LaJoie. Today we're gonna have an open conversation with someone who lives their life with a joyful person. And for this Valentine's Day version, it's my honey, my husband, my sweetheart, Mike Bishop. I'm excited to be here. Dr. Joy? Yes, it's. Always laughing, having fun, got a smile on her face most all the time, except when sometimes I forget to do the laundry, but Or the dishes. Or the dishes. But overall, it's joyful living with you. So I'm excited to be here on Valentine's Day. Well, and you make my life joyful too, so I'm excited to just kind of get some perspective that people can see through the lens of our lives and your life, even before you knew me. Okay. So how would you personally define joy? I. I would define joy as, enjoyment. Uh, being in joy, doing things that you love doing things you, gonna make other people happy, doing things that you feel like contribute to others. And that's what I get joy from. And I think most people could say that those are ways to get joy. Can you share a moment in your life when you felt truly joyful? Yeah, I mean, the times we've been on family trips, vacations. we go to southern Oregon traditionally where we'll have our family and a couple other families and go rafting and camping, glamping because there's a house there. It's our private little campground, so to speak. And, uh, just feeling the warmth of the sun and letting people. Adventurous stuff as well. our Canada, you know, different times. Just really experiencing life at a slow pace with the people you love, definitely places that I find joy. Well, and slow pace definitely does not define our day-to-day lives because we are constantly on the go and it's kind of fun today. I was thinking about how. Our life weaves in and out from each other. But it just seems like we find moments every day to be able to see each other and connect. And we never leave the house without a hug or at least an acknowledgement. So I appreciate that and that's one of the things that brings me joy in addition to, you know, I'm a morning person, he is a night owl, and I'm off and up. Like this morning I was up at five and What time did you get up today? It. But I had a, I had an 8:00 AM meeting half an hour south, so I got up at 7 25. I love that. One of the things that brings you joy is that within 10 minutes of you getting up, you can make me laugh. And most of the time it's either a dad joke or some ridiculous thing that you came up with, but it puts a smile on my face and I appreciate it. Well, I, I love doing it. I mean, start out randomly and now it's a challenge. The first 10, when. Can you share with us, Mike, and sometime when you had an experience where you had to overcome a significant challenge or adversity? yeah. I remember when we were starting our businesses and had our kids, and you said to me, don't worry about the kids. I probably missed an appointment, got late, had to change something in the middle of. Until you get your business figured out. I mean, there was some sort of little challenge in there that said, take care of your business. I'll take care of the kids. Because one of my reasons for doing my business was so that I could be active, in taking care of the kids on a regular basis. So I remember that hit me kind of hard and I still think about that, and it's been 15, 20 years. I wasn't feeling like I was putting my priorities in the right place and you know, it was a temporary situation and something I had to do, but it definitely was a challenge that I felt like we overcame eventually. Well, and I think it's also one of those times where we had to look at our priorities and go, I've got your back. You've got stuff to take care of. And I know that there's been times when I've had to be absent for whatever reason, and just knowing that I have somebody there who's gonna help me pick up the pieces has been really absolutely necessary. I mean, another person in our lives has been, aunt Tammy. Tammy has been, we call my wife. And every woman should have a wife. The three years that she lived with us and the other, almost 20 years that she's lived here in town, she also helps take care of us. So we have things that we prioritize and we need help. And often it's with the kids because we wanna make sure that they're feeling like they have everything they need. So I remember those times and I think that we've been able to. Be partners in this life and again, something that I appreciate about you. A another thing to go off script, but I remember talking with the pastors from our church who said, make sure when you guys connect that your kids see you connect first. Your first job is to get to your spouse. Kids will appreciate that as much as, more than anything, knowing that you've got a strong relationship first, and then the kids will, obviously. But, uh, that was one thing I remember and I hope that we provided an example of what joy can look like, for our kids as well. Yeah, that just makes me smile.'cause I remember times when, I would open the door and you'd be fighting them to get to the door to get to me, and it was a blast, but it made me feel so special. And now you just have to fight the dog to get first. I didn't goodbye because I was upstairs or whatever. So I would run actually out to the car, make them get out of the car so I could give a hug before they left the house. Are there ways that you find that you are sharing joy in your daily life with other people, whether it's people in our community or people in your business? Well, I like to think that, when I'm on stage and. Raising money that just tell some jokes, from somebody who's not a professional comedian, that can make fun of myself as well as, maybe they're corny, maybe they're a dad joke on Facebook. I try to at least one out every three or four posts might be something that might make somebody roll their eyes, might give somebody a smile. Hopefully, we don't maybe get enough of that in life and certainly lots of challenges if. So one of the things that you kept bringing up when we were talking about doing this episode is telling our story. How did we meet? And so why don't you start with your perspective and I'll chime in. Sure. we were at a Portland state football game and football's been something that's kind of continued through our lives. So I think that's apropos and was sent with a group of friends and. You know, 15 rows down and four seats over, and the clouds parted as they'll do in Portland, and the sun's shown directly down upon her. And I literally got up from my seat, walked down and introduced myself. Uh, said, hi, my name's Mike. I noticed you were looking at me. I wanted if, you're seeing anybody. Well, and at the time I was waiting for my girlfriend who was late. So I kept looking up at the stands for her. So at the time I was newly married. I had a training husband for a couple years, a wonderful guy. It just didn't work out a couple years later. And so he had come down to talk to me and we got along great. He was with a group of DeMolay people, and I had been familiar with DeMolay and the Masonic family my whole life. My dad had been a DeMolay. And so when he realized, he's like, Hey, are you seeing anybody? Are you, you know, got a boyfriend? And I said, well, actually I'm married and my husband's down there on the. He's like, he's like, okay, great to meet you. You know, and he's like, see you later. I said, oh, I see. most of my friends are guys, but I'm married so we can't be friends. Okay, well we can be friends. That's fine. Anyway, so make a long story less long, a couple years later, after my divorce, I had three dreams that Mike was in. And they were groups of people out doing social activities, dancing, going to dinner. And when I had the third dream, I'm like, man, I need to get ahold of that guy. And all I could remember was his name first and last, and then he was in DeMolay. So I called the state DeMolay chapter, went through four different people, got his work number, called him at work. And I was like, Hey, I don't know if you remember me, but I'm like, oh, I. So I still had her number, gave her a call. Hey, how about that beer? So at the time I was out of town for a conference. So four days later I called him back and we ended up getting together for a beer downtown. Uh, actually the Cheerful Tortoise and got along great. But neither of us were in a place to be in a relationship yet. And so we were just communicating. I mean, if you remember fax machines, we used to send a fax. Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech or different inspirations, and we kept in touch that way. And then a couple months later, we both were at the same dance club Moody's, which is closed now, but it was a great dance club, and I had gone down there by myself. I knew a bunch of people that worked there, and so we ended up connecting on the dance floor. And then as we were leaving, three of my students who were big bouncers, and another guy that I was kind of dating at the time, uh, they all gave me big hugs as we're walking down the stairs and he's halfway down the street and he is like, man, your boyfriends must get really jealous. I'm like, no. They realize that I'm just really affectionate and they deal with it. So that gave him license to be able to tell me the things that he needed a relationship. Right? I'm like, well after, you know, going through a few and figuring out what I was, there come a point, I think, in most people's life, hopefully, where you figure out what you're willing to change and what you're not, who you are enough to say. If you can accept this about me, then great. You know, we can go further. If not, then we should just. And kind of ran through the list, like basketball. My friends are important to me. If you can't handle the fact I'm probably watching basketball or playing basketball, we should just be friends. And I said, my friends are very important to me. My last girlfriend didn't really like them. If they're gonna be here before and after any girlfriend, if you get along, great. If not, that's fine. We should just be friends. There were a couple other things s. She was good with all of it, so. Well, yeah, and his friends actually like me as much as they like him now, so probably more. And then, and then just fast forward. We really spent a lot of time doing things adventurous, being friends, going out camping and barbecuing and doing all kinds of fun things together. And then about five months later. Spending time at my house and he is like, uh, hey, can I move a dresser over here? I, I dunno how you feel about premarital living together, but I said. I said, if you just wanna have a convenient place to keep your stuff, I'm not interested. My house was on one side of my work and her house was the other side of the work, so I had to pass my work, get my stuff, and come back to work. It was a pain, so I thought, well, let's make it easy. Yeah. And I wasn't interested in easy, and I said, if you're interested in this going somewhere, then let's talk about that. But I'm not here for convenience. And what about a week later? So then 10 months down the road, we're at a Portland trailblazer basketball game, and we're just, you know, our own business. I'm eating my cotton candy and. Marry and you know, so it's no will be better. Will you marry me? Love Mike and, uh, took the cotton candy away from her. I knew it was coming. I did not know that they would've a big heart around the screen and have it on us. At the time. I got down to one knee, asked to marry me in front of 18,000 fans at least, and, uh, at there was no, yes, I couldn't hear an audible. Yes, I needed to hear. Yes, she kind nodded and then she said yes. Then I found out like she still wasn't sure whether. But that was a lot of pressure. I don't blame. It was a lot. And we hadn't talked about getting married either. And so, I wanted, well, we had, we had talked about what we wanted. That's like, we knew that we wanted kids and we knew that we had the same kinds of priorities, family values, and the things that were important to us were similar. We just weren't in a hurry. Right. But then September, that, that was about a year later is when we actually Yeah. Got married. It was 10 months after he moved in. And then 10 months after we got engaged, we were married. And then 10 months after we were married, Micah showed up. So first child. Yeah. And, uh, and talk about challenges. I mean, I quit my job. we moved in and closed the house in May. Moved in in June. I quit my job in July. Had a first kid in August and was a home dad, you know. And, there were challenges, but the joy and the freedom to walk into school, to coach with them and coach with her, um, coach of the year for the girls' soccer club, as well as, coach of the year, what, let's see, chiropractor of the Year for state of Oregon, citizen of the year here in Wilsonville. Uh, it's been a joy for sure. Thank you. What advice would you give to someone who might be struggling to find joy in their lives? I'd say find something you like to do or love to do and make sure you make it a priority. Make sure you make it part of your schedule. You know, I think it's very easy to kind of get busy and a lot of drivers, a type people that want to accomplish, get a certain satisfaction, I think, out of putting stuff off or feeling like they're sacrificing. And while there is certainly time for that and all catches. To make sure you find out what you love to do and make that a schedule, make that a priority, so that way you can get what you need to get done. But remember why you're doing it. And I think the other thing is your why. To keep working towards your why and experience your why. if it's travel, make sure you keep traveling. If it's time with family is your ultimate why You wanna have that freedom. Remind yourself. So, sometimes I think people feel like maybe our life is so great because that's the face that we have forward. And that's not to say that there aren't challenges, but I think that there are strategies that we have daily, weekly, monthly, yearly that we put in place to be able to navigate the challenges so that we don't get stuck there. So what are some of the things that you think you say you do that can make you look. Like you're having a good time all the time, even when life is hard and not to cover over it. I mean, we're not trying to pretend, but I think that you can have joy in the face of adversity. Sure. Well, I try to put out positive stuff on Facebook and social media in general, but I'm also vulnerable from time to time or you know, I believe that. Make sure that make, you know it's okay to have challenges, but what are you gaining from it? What do you,, there's the things that happen to you that may be out of your control, but how you respond to that is within your control. And it's okay to talk about things that are outta your control. Just make sure that you, come back to the things that are in your control, how you put in perspective, how you. So that to me is what you're talking about. I think, yeah. I think a couple things that we've done well as a couple and with our kids is like the 72 hour rule. You know, you get really bad news and you don't freak out right away because you don't know if it's good news or bad news. It's like the man who got a new horse, and they said, oh, that's so great. And he said, okay, maybe. And then his son is out riding the horse and the horse throws him off and he breaks his leg and they're like, oh, this is really bad news. And they said, okay, maybe. And then the sun does not get taken to the army with the rest of the young men in town and they say, you know, this is really good news. So, it's all, it's really perspective. It can be a swing from good to bad, but I think about a recent experience with one of our kids that, they had a really hard time with, our youngest not staying at the university that she was going to originally for basketball, and she found out that the coach wasn't. Be really playing her the way she wanted to be part of the team. And instead of freaking out, she realized that, okay, that we're gonna take 72 hours. We're not gonna freak out. You know, God's got my back. We have each other. We're gonna look at this. And within 48 hours, she had made the decision to switch schools and is now in a much better place for her, for her career, for her social life, and for her development as a young adult. And our family motto is, things work out for us. The kids would tell you if you ever asked, what's your family motto? All three of them would tell you the same thing. And it's because no matter whether it's good or bad, we have an expectation that life is gonna work out and that we're gonna gain either wisdom or experience and we don't win and lose that we win and learn. Right. You said it. I. Topic of joy that you feel like is just on your heart? Well, when we were talking about this podcast, what are some things that brings me joy? And certainly it's time with family and friends. Coaching, I enjoy watching kids grow and feeling like I had a positive contribution. And, seeing kids that I coached go off to college and whether that's play sports or just have a successful life is very rewarding. Uh, bought a bike, go ride my bike when it, about two o'clock, two 30, whatever. If it's sunny outside, just to be able to say, I'm going and take off for 30 minutes or 40 minutes, or whatever and just get some fresh air. Last time I did, I could just feel the endorphins kick in as soon as I got out there and did that. Finding some way to move, get your heart pump, um, get some athletic activity. Something I keep. Follow my instruction and make sure I make a schedule for so well. So what are your next projects that you're doing on that perspective of, things that bring you joy or things that will bring you fulfillment in the near to distant future? Sure. Well we've got our big, Oregon DeMolay crab feed coming up where I get to be the auctioneer and mc for that and have a lot people working on it. And hopefully, the foundation running smoothly so the organization runs smoothly. Great leadership. I know I've got convention coming up with our, with LegalShield, and that's always a great time to get reinspired reinvigorated, get some new knowledge, new learning, and reconnect with a lot of friends. hopefully we make the Jamaica trip. That's something I've got a make a priority to make sure I'm doing the business that's gonna get us our expense trip to, for our annual. That's always fun and, uh, in. Experience two orphanages at charity puts orphanages. Pool fundraiser that raised about 62, 60 5,000. That should help us finish a trade school that we're building right next to the orphanages for the orphans and the community. so I'll be headed down to Guatemala for about a week and spending time with friends and people who have been putting into this, for over 10 years for the 10th year anniversary. I've been giving this organization for 10 years, never had a chance to get down there, and so I'm definitely looking forward to that travel as well. I'm really hearing a theme here. There's a thread throughout your life in community service between the many, many years, couple of decades of coaching basketball and soccer, and having your full circle basketball clinics and coaching the eighth grade girls team, you know, now you've got D Ma A and the D ma A found, and then you've got the orphanage and. Next step is rotary president next year. Right. So you've got all these beautiful things. So what inspires you to be involved in your community? I mean, what does that, how does that serve you? You know, I just feel strongly that, there's gifts that God gave you and what you do with those is what you can give to the world. So, thank God I have a wife that I. so, being inspired by inspiring people, inspired by those around me. but I feel like I was given some gifts. I was given the gift of two parents that loved each other and worked hard and showed me what it was to one was an entrepreneur and owned his own business. My mom worked for the phone company and showed me what long-term commitment, to a company can look like as well. And those are gifts, I believe because. I had no control over who I was born to or what their life was like. But, those are gifts that I feel like I can hopefully give back in some way. And, by having a commitment to continue to get better, uh, to live in joy, to live in possibility, to live in living up to your potential, which is what we talk to our kids a lot about. I just wanna live up to my potential. I just wanna, at the end of life, look back and I. You're doing an amazing job and I appreciate the work that you do for me, for our community, for our family, so thank you for that. Let's finish up with our fast five. So every episode we have our Fast five that we're gonna be doing. So we're gonna talk about, first off, a song that brings you joy or musician. Bob Marley, man. Yeah. Can't wait to get back to. In that there's the rebellion and all the things he went through, and how he put his music out there to the world and how it sprung, a genre. You know, he was at the birth of a genre. I mean, hip hop for me was that as well. And that, I got to witness the birth of a genre. That's one of the biggest in the world. But yeah, and today the movie comes out. Fortunately, I'm coaching this evening, so we'll have to get to the movie at some point. But, uh, I'm excited for his movie and just the impact that Bob Marley had. So that's my joy. Reggae in general, pop music, but Re and Prince and Prince, I do love Prince and yeah, as well, amazing musician. So do you have any books that bring you joy? I'm reading, 3D coaching right now. Enjoyed that. what's it about? It's about a guy who was a coach and struggled and about his faith and, the support of his family and the challenges that he brought to his family. And really taking kids from not just being good athletes, but being good people as well. And then, different books on, personal finance. I enjoy that as well. I believe one of our, my potentials, my big why right now is to be a work from anywhere grandpa. Uh, and so that the kids can say, dad, thanks. We've had enough. We're good. Uh, at some point, yeah, for sure. No, well, when it happens, it happens. But I would definitely wanna be, continue to be free financially so that I can spend the time I need to and want to,, and they need me to hopefully, with the grandkids as well. So, personal finance coaching books. Personal development in general? Well, in 3D coaching, I believe that's one of the books that Coach Crace brought up on one of our last episodes. Mm-Hmm. And he really talked about the importance of having mindset and teamwork, be it such the heart of the coaching piece. It's not just the tactics on the floor or on the court or the, or the field. That's super important. Um, don't you have a book too? I've written a book. Core Philosophies. Uh, you can it at Oregon. It's not huge like big published, but when I go out and do speaking gigs, I, go through the 10 core philosophies, which, what we do is important. Our company calls it the 10 core commitments, but what we think is probably as are more important, and that's the philosophy. So. Um, contact her, I guess, and we'll get you the book at 10 Core philosophy, so enjoy that. Yeah. Yeah. And I think the thing that's really important about that book is that it's for anyone of any field that it's, came out of the Legal Shield community, but it's really designed for anyone who's looking to enrich their why and look at what's happening down the road. Mm-Hmm. I'm proud for What's a movie that you've seen that brings you joy? The one love that's coming up. I haven't seen it yet, but I know it's gonna be awesome. the, documentary about Bob Barley's life was really, really good. Uh, but going back, I would say Ferris Bueller's Day Off is always a movie that I enjoy just because,, it just says so many fun things about living life right now and making your best of it and have an adventure. Along the way. So yeah, Ferris Peeler's day off. Well, and you're not a guy who likes to see movies more than once or twice. So are there any other movies that you're like, yes, this is it. I have to see this every five years. We like Grease, grease the movie or this stage play or whatever about Grease. I should have waited until they were older to watch some of the lines in there, or they didn't understand until they got older. I couldn't believe we let watch them when they were younger. So that, I'll watch again. we've started watching will Ferrell's Christmas movie Elf, uh, kind of every year as well. And I'm not really a black and white movie, but every year we watch Holiday Inn and. All right, so number four is joy hacks. So what is something that you do big or small that you know, as soon as you engage in it, it's gonna hack into joy? Yeah. Riding my bike, is something I enjoy, uh, coaching, spending an hour and a half with the kids in the gym. Hopefully I can always walk out there going, somebody got better today. Somewhere along the lines. Somebody thought better, somebody learned a skill, somebody grew. So that's a lot of fun. Anything basketball, pretty much watching the good close game, even win or lose lately. But even when they, you know, especially when they win, uh, you know, and it's hard sometimes. I mean, like we had overtime game to win the championship at a tournament two weekends ago out in Forest Grove. And man, we drew, I drew up a play that I had the kids contribute and it, it was there and it was set up and she should made the shot and she missed it. But you take the challenges and you look, and I always remind them, I say, you know, this should hurt now, but five years from now, 10 years from now, you won't remember the score of the game. You'll just remember your teammates and that you grew through it and that you know you learned from it and that you played your hardest. So, very cool. All right, and on number five, we're gonna finish every episode with an Attaway. And the Attaway is just a recognition of someone that you're cheering on or who's helped you along the way. Well, of course. She told me I couldn't say her because George Crace said her. And I think that most people know her would say that Laura LaJoie Bishop, Dr. Laura LaJoie, Bishop gets the out ways on a regular basis deserves them. So I'd give it to my kids. our youngest keeping a positive attitude, showing her integrity through the. A college level, uh, in a competitive basketball environment. Obviously our middle, working past being, an all American at Oregon State University in the rowing program and competing internationally with the US under 23 team now trying to make the senior team and starting all. You know, trying to make a living a while, being committed, uh, to a rowing program that there's no definite beginning, middle, or end. It's just go and go as long as you can. She's keeping a great attitude about that. And then our oldest, Micah down in Denver doing an amazing job getting this master in, uh, social. Has his life sort of planned out and, and, and while it's a struggle to have to work 30 hours a week while getting a master, uh, is figuring it out and continues to move forward. So they don't know this yet, but I wrote'em all a card today, just said, you know, well, I'm proud of them. Is there anything else that you're working on in the near future you wanna share? So, hey. So what and what's that? Sorry. Just anything else that that you wanna share before we close out this episode? We thank you for listening to the Dr. Joy Show, and we encourage you to please share with your friends, your family, people you care about, so they can experience more joy in their life. Simply Google Dr. Joy and look for the podcast. That's pretty close. I'll put all the actual links in the bio and again, thank you guys for listening. Hope you had a happy V-Day, or happy Valentine's Day and choosing joy.